(138) checking things off my list

There are 4 days until i leave the country and i am so stressed. 

How do i know this...

...my emotions are all out of wack

...i cant think straight

...my words aren't coming out right

...my to do list is growing

Today I attempted to alleviate some stress.

-slept in til 10:45

-spent time with krissi

...lunch at BJ's

...ran errands (tj max and target)

-continued gathering things on my packing list

-made a phone call to my bank letting them know i was leaving the country so they wouldn't put a hold on my account

-bought tickets for American Idol live tour (in nashville july 30th)

-printed out paperwork for the trip

-spent lots of time on my computer

I crossed 3 things off my to-do list and 4 things off my shopping list. Slowly making progress. Taking things one day at a time...unfortunately i am running out of time.

FYI

Last night i ended up watching several movies, decorating my NZ journal, and gathering stuff to pack.

(i went to sleep at 2am)

(95) Momentarily Blurred

Now that it is getting close to midnight i am having trouble remembering what happened today.

Right now all i can think about is how tired, exhausted, achey, stressed, and over work and school I am.

Im going to put my thinking cap on.

Or maybe i will sit like winnie the pooh "think...think think...think...oh bother"

It may have worked.

I got to school and spent my hour before class looking over and setting up a computer assignment.

Basically i located and saved all of the articles that i have to summarize.

I spent the rest of my time watching one tree hill online. 

While the video was buffering i skimmed the articles.

I went to class at 9:20 and was done around 10:20.

I went back to the lounge and attempted to work on the computer assignment. I quickly gave up and ended up listening to music and reading blogs.

I walked over to dr. medoras office hoping she was there so that i could pick up some fundraiser candy, but she wasn't there.

I walked back to the lounge and ate pretzels and 2 tangerines (aka lunch). 

I read part of an article that was for my 12:30 class and then couldn't keep my eyes open.

I took a 15 minute nap and then went to class.

After class i walked back to dr medoras office hoping to catch her at the tail end of office hours, but once again she was not there.

I caught the bus and headed home.

As soon as i got home i cooked some food. I was so hungry, my lunch was not filling.

I ate what i cooked and watched glee, then parenthood.

At 4pm i got ready for work and i left at 4:15.

I was at work from 4:45-10:30

My shift started off good, but then it got really busy, little things kept happening and getting messed up.

At some point i was so behind, so frustrated, so overwhelmed. I snapped. All i wanted to do was relieve the stress and scream instead, i stood by the soda machine with my mouth shut and tears rolling down my face. I am so tired of my emotions building up and bursting at inconvenient times.

I was able to get a glass of water and go to the back and take big gulps of water and take deep breaths.

I reminded myself that everything was fine. I got back out on the floor and continued my shift fairly smooth after that.

But believe me i was so over my night of work.

Let me just say, sometimes it sucks being a waitress, and tonight was just one of those nights.

Well now that i have remembered today and expressed just how awful work was, i think i will go to sleep now. Last nights 5 hours was not enough.

Tomorrow is another day. I am so grateful for that. A fresh start, different experiences, better emotions, different outlook, one day closer to the weekend.

(27) Ups and downs

I got up at 9am this morning. I finally got to sleep in and catch up on my sleep and just rest.

I enjoyed two cups of coffee and tried not to think about having class later.

That didn't work out too well, but i was able to enjoy my relaxing morning.

I had class at 2pm. We are starting a group project so we formed our groups today. I was content with who was included in mine until one other person asked to join. We all kinda looked at each other unsure of what to do. We said yah go ahead. We started discussing the assignment and everything went downhill from there. This person would not go along with any of our plans, was being difficult, wanted to change the age focus, the theme, and had a different opinion on everything. The rest of us just looked at each other with frustrated faces as we rolled our eyes. I really wanted to say "if you don't want to go along with what the rest of us have decided, you can find a new group." Of course i didn't say this and i really regret it. I was so frustrated and annoyed during the rest of class.

We took notes from the powerpoint and the watched the movie Babies. -I had seen it before and didn't feel like being in class any longer. Thankfully the dvd had been having problems and we only were able to watch the first 45 minutes before it froze. I was so relieved to get to leave.

I got home around 3:50 and was still fuming- i don't know what is going on with my emotions lately, but i don't like it

I worked on the Valentine blog post on welcome to my closet

ate a sandwich

i don't know what happened before dinner- my afternoon/evening is a blur, but i do remember this:
Listened to an upcoming Glee song- One of my favorites from Rent

Ate tacos for dinner- we ate at the table as a family+ Sarah (brothers girlfriend)

(this doesn't happen very often) 

Then we pulled out shaun's box of photos (this included baby pictures and awful school photos)

TV: off the map

say yes to the dress

tonight i also tried to figure out the classes i need to take and what semesters they have to be taken. It is crazy knowing that i only have 12 classes left including internships. 

TV: 20/20 Wrong Turn

Tomorrow will involve cleaning and going to work. Uhh... i really don't want tomorrow to come. Can i just skip saturday and move straight to sunday. If only things worked that way.

(21) Next day please

It's February 5th and that means its Emily's Birthday. This also means that my birthday is one week and one day away.

Happy Birthday to my best friend and thanks for 20 years of friendship and sisterhood.

***

Last night I spent the night at Erin's house.

this morning I woke upt 10 am.

We watched:

Such a good romantic comedy.

I went home a little bit before 12.

I brewed a pot of coffee then hopped in the shower.

I put comfy clothes back on and tried to get my school stuff organized.

-I wrote all of the due dates in my planner.

-I printed out notes and assignments

-I organized my binders and notebooks

All of those things needed to be done, but i should have been working on my trend analysis paper. (I am a great productive procrastinator)  

I ate lunch around two and then got ready for work.

Shaun and Sarah took me to work at 3:30. My stomach was hurting from lunch and I really didn't want to be at work. One of my first tables was 6 teenagers who got separate checks and didn't leave a tip. Around that same time i had a table of 4 people and their bill was almost $70 and they left me less than 10%. Everything was going wrong and on top of that i was feeling really out of it, dizzy, and weak. By 5:30 i was feeling awful and i had a really difficult table who clearly didn't like me. I had hit the breaking point. I went to the back and full on broke down. This had never happened at work before. It was so embarrassing to be crying and having co-workers coming up and asking me what was wrong. I almost got myself under control. I asked one of the hosts to keep an eye on my tables, and then i broke into sobs again. One of my managers came to the back to check on me. She got me a glass of water and said that if I wanted to go home I could. I couldn't get my emotions under control and chose to go home. I was so happy to be able to get out of there. By 6:45 I was home, still emotional, but was able to start calming down. I changed into sweat pants and made a pot of rice (my ultimate comfort food). I lounged on the couch for the rest of the night watching the Glee (my happy place) marathon on oxygen.

I am definitely ready for today to be over and to have a fresh start tomorrow.

Today's Theme Song:

11ish

Worked on a blog post for Welcome to My Closet:

Dress Like A Celebrity for Less